Once Upon a Time in Emeryville…

Toy Story 3 opens today. From the very beginning, each new Pixar movie was a big event in our family. I remember inadvertently stumbling into a movie theater—our first movie in the Bay Area—to see Finding Nemo when Zachary was four months old. We were broke and lonely in a new town, with a new baby, and a new family, so my mother suggested we see a movie to take our minds off of our problems. What we found sitting in that theater watching Nemo was a surprisingly beautiful film about fathers and sons. It became one of Zachary’s favorites when he was older. I always planned to tell him the story of his first movie: how he was amazed by the colors and shapes on the screen; how I held him in my arms as we watched the movie together; and how he was such a good boy, attentive, quiet, enthralled the entire time.

From Nemo forward, we saw every Pixar movie on Opening Night. Zachary was still young when we saw The Incredibles. I remember arriving late and sitting in the front row. I remember the light from the screen illuminating that amazed look on his face. But by the time Cars opened in 2006, lots had changed. Zachary was three years old. He was obsessed with cars, trains, airplanes, garbage trucks, and big rigs: anything that moved. Moreover, we had downloaded a movie trailer for Cars the previous year, and Zachary watched those two minutes of movie religiously. Even before it opened, Cars was Zachary’s favorite movie.

There was an incredible amount of anticipation around the premier of that movie and we treated it with the respect it deserved, considering how excited our son was. We talked about it all week leading up to the Friday opening. We bought pre-sale tickets online to ensure we had seats for this important event. We got there early, purchased popcorn, lemonade, candy, and found a seat in the middle of the theater. When the lights finally went down, after a year of anticipation, I looked at my son’s face and I cried. He was so happy. He looked at me as I wiped away the tears. And the movie began…

Zachary laughed at the jokes, whispered “More popcorn please,” and clapped when the movie was over. As usual, when I asked him what was his favorite part, he said, “All the parts!” We saw Cars a few more times that summer, even once at the same theater where we first saw Finding Nemo years before.

When Ratatouille premiered we sat near the front on Opening Night, just like we had for The Incredibles, and we had a wonderful time. But for us, nothing had yet surpassed the excitement of Cars or the beauty of Finding Nemo.

But Pixar has a very special way of outdoing themselves. They also have a knack, it seems, for anticipating where a child’s imagination—their dreams and desires—will go. Cars coincided perfectly with Zachary’s passion for the highway. It also came out the summer we took our family road trip to Missouri. By the time WALL-E was released in 2008, Zachary had fallen in love with the Universe. He had memorized the names of the planets, and could fire them off, in order. We had built a mobile of the Solar System to hang from the ceiling in his room. And one of our favorite places to visit was the Chabot Space and Science Center in Oakland.

So on opening night, we returned to the same movie theater in Emeryville, CA (the same city the Pixar Animation Studios call home) where we first saw Finding Nemo, to watch the new Pixar release, WALL-E. And we were amazed. WALL-E’s beauty exceeded Nemo and Zachary’s excitement for the film reminded me of Cars.

After WALL-E we awaited the release of Pixar’s next film, Up. Then, in February 2009, Zachary was hit and killed by a car while crossing the street in the crosswalk in Berkeley with his daycare teacher. In many ways, that is simply the end. But there are other, small things to note: The first night I laid down to sleep after my son’s death, I went to his bunk bed, still unmade from the morning when he awoke, and clutched his Cars pillow to my chest. I smelled it and cried and slept with it that night, and every night since, for over a year now. Zachary’s Cars were still in the toy box. His WALL-E and Buzz and Woody toys were still on the shelf. His name, “Zachary” was on their feet—just like Andy’s name in the Toy Story movies. Many of those items now have a special place in our house, in honor of our son.

And today, Toy Story 3 is in theaters. This would be the first Toy Story movie Zachary would see on the big screen (the others were released before he was born). But instead of watching this movie with my two sons, I’ll see it first with my wife and again with Miles, Zachary’s little brother, for Father’s Day. I hope Zachary can be with us tonight in the theater. I’ll get popcorn and the candy he liked. I’ll probably cry but that’s what I’ve come to expect from a Pixar movie. If I’m lucky, this film will be as beautiful and moving as some of the others I shared with my son. Tonight, I’ll take my mother’s advice and go see a movie to take my mind off of my troubles. If you’re a father, take your son to see a movie this weekend. You won’t ever regret it. [FC]